my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
