I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
