Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
