why didn't you poke me back
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize