We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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