My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We named our party play list daddy issues
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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