just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
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Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
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fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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