I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize