allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
