Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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