umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
