Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
