All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize