Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
