you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We left an ass print on the piano.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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