Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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