you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
