Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I want a musical about memes.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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