he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
