Apparently you make a good broom.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize