I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
