I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
