the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
