This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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