From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
