Im at strip club and am horny
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
