How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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