i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
