Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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