was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
