I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
