I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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