some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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