i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he shaved USA in his pubs
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
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