i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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