It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
