I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
home. puking in laundry basket.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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