I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
