She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
