Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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