Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
