yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
