I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
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You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
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I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.