Texts From Last Night

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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.

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  (865): And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly. http://tfl.nu/a3gz
  Replies (21) Good night (5726) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.

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  (703): They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait. http://tfl.nu/6f6p
  Replies (18) Good night (954) Bad night (5125) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?

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  (937): Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes? http://tfl.nu/r1tf
  Replies (14) Good night (4905) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off

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  (862): dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off http://tfl.nu/s9m5
  Replies (4) Good night (2509) Bad night (989) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.

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  (201): It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb. http://tfl.nu/thcm
  Replies (6) Good night (5291) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.

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  (617): I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch. http://tfl.nu/yicm
  Replies (13) Good night (1939) Bad night (3077) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.

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  (571): Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was. http://tfl.nu/tmsm
  Replies (12) Good night (3103) Bad night (1397) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.

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  (575): I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here" (575): Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life. http://tfl.nu/q6db
  Replies (8) Good night (2128) Bad night (632)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  You fucked her?! HER?!

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.

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  (205): You fucked her?! HER?! (1-205): She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir. http://tfl.nu/jld9
  Replies (6) Good night (3483) Bad night (515)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?

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  (631): I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend? http://tfl.nu/hi71
  Replies (3) Good night (1094) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.

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  (817): The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride. http://tfl.nu/s0ye
  Replies (1) Good night (369) Bad night (710) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.

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  (914): Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo. http://tfl.nu/y2dk
  Replies (4) Good night (427) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?

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  (+31): So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it? http://tfl.nu/5fmg
  Replies (7) Good night (1501) Bad night (284)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.

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  (307): While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career. http://tfl.nu/fdba
  Replies (4) Good night (443) Bad night (165) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.

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  (816): The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles. http://tfl.nu/r0bo
  Replies (4) Good night (141) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt

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