hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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