big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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