I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.