Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.