In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
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in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
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You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.