STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I will pee on everything he values.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
