she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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