so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
