Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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