Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize