"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
