She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
