We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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