I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
