He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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