i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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