I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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