Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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