did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize