Just fell off a train. Bad.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
