we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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