Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
